dear diary,
So I’m making not 1 but 4 music videos for X LOVER – all in 4 days! Just uploaded this 3rd one on Youtube.
p/s: get X LOVER EP via iTunes
ZE!
“X Lover” MV (Defunct! Remix)
ZE!, June 29th 2011 |“X Lover” MV
ZE!, June 29th 2011 |cleavage
dear diary,
I did an interview today, and it’s one of those where they want to make it ‘controversial’ so yeah, i gave them controversial. Blah.
But they did most of the talking which annoys me because they’re radio DJs who get to speak on air every freaking day anyway so let me talk for fuck’s sake! I mentioned that i wrote I Am Glam which was written about my frustrations toward the local music industry. They reacted before I could finish and i feel that they took my meaning wrongly, like i think that the scene doesn’t mean shit to me which isn’t the point.
I have spent many years trying to break through in the local scene but never quite cut it. I felt terribly trapped, out of place and I couldn’t understand why. I wrote the song at the time, recorded it with Ruben, sung it at my first gigs in europe and noticed that people loved the sound, the image and the attitude that came with it. I learned the long and hard way that it was never the scene that I had to change, but it was me who had to. So, I am no longer frustrated over the local scene because i’ve moved on and because it is what it is. But, that’s what ‘I Am Glam’ is about and I can never change that because it’s now part of my history.
What I don’t get is, if you’re planning on doing a ‘controversial’ radio program to sell the show then why do it on indie artists nobody knows about? Do you see tabloids written about nobodies? No, because people don’t care about people they don’t know about. I think that’s common sense. Plus, you’re meant to be the chart show the indies are scrambling to get their songs on and then you call us up for an interview only to diss us when we’ve already got a pretty low self-esteem. Very classy, guys. How bout you find some balls to do the same on the superstars?
And they went on to say this; if you can’t make it in Malaysia, you’re never ever gonna make it elsewhere.
Oh, really?
ze.
x
for your entertainment
dear diary,
adam lambert is beginning to annoy me. Yes, i love the bitchy attitude but not when it’s faked. He’s taking things a little too far and trying a little too hard. If you wanna get BJ-ed on stage, obviously national tv ain’t the place.
But i gotta say i love the makeup on his cover, sensational! 
ze.
x
judge me by my dress
dear diary,
i’ve always thought fashion designers were very cool, if not the coolest. Except i’ve recently begun to realize that this isn’t always true and maybe only applies to the designers i happen to look up to. Or perhaps i have the wrong definition of ‘cool’. Anyhoo, I noticed this when i was at berlin’s bread & butter in July where I was so excited to visit the tradeshow and be amongst designers and fashion-y people and some of my friends were put off by them because they were, well, all fashion-y. I was quite surprised to find how irritated they were by these people and i thought ‘ so in that case, you guys find me annoying as well?’. It was up until when we went to this fashion-y party later that night where only the fashion-y people were being invited – it struck me as to how boring designers can actually be. My friends already getting annoyed from the moment we stepped in the door by everybody in there; young designers all in black or other colours that blend in with the furniture, sitting down enjoying their drinks and staring into space with expensive drinks in their hands – supposedly looking very ‘chic’, all of them. This in a lay low setting, cheap couches and a good electro dj spinning in the corner. Am i amongst zombies? What’s a party if not to burn the dancefloor, people? They seem like they were all too artsy to actually be moved by music which makes complete sense. Not. So I guess wacky designers I love like Betsey Johnson are the absolute rare ones – which is probably what would make me kill for her designs. Ain’t saying that they should go away, because it’s with the existence of designers like these that make the ones that are truly different stand out. I mean, i’m sure there are loads of people who love zombie clothing – they’d be the ones ‘looking good’ by the bar and never be seen burning the dancefloors like they should.
Just saying!
ze.
x
chain reaction
dear diary,
I’ve had him wrapped around my finger; and now he has her wrapped around his.
It is an undeniably beautiful little picture.
ze.
x
keep thy dicks to thyselves
dear diary,
I cant believe it took the universe so long to finally give me an answer. That in-your-face evidence that you are and have always been a slut. I guess you can now use your incapability to not stick it into just about every hole you find and make full use of those disabled parking spaces and toilets.
Slut.
x
feeling foxy
dear diary,
Why do i keep watching Lost when we all know full well there can never be a happy ending with these people? Please tell me season 5 did not just end like that just to give another eternity of torture and biting/eating my toenails waiting for what happens next. Bitch.
x
there she goes again
dear diary,
There is a difference between thinking ‘my life sucks’ and thinking ‘my life could be better’. If I thought my life sucked straight out, I would whine all day and do nothing about it. But even tho my life doesn’t suck (so to speak), I still whine all day because I believe it can be way better and it’s up to me to do something about it. I choose the people I whine about it to, and you were one of them because i thought you would understand. I thought you would know how to tell me that I have what it takes and that I can – even if you didn’t think so. What i didn’t know was that you didn’t know me well enough and i didn’t know you well enough either to think you’d be so judgmental. Expressing myself has been something I had to learn to do because I didn’t grow up in an environment that required much of it. And as a songwriter, I think it’s good to get all the anger and frustrations out because nobody wants to listen to happy love songs all day long. People love angry bitches. From when i was very young, I’ve always wanted to live a life that pushes boundaries. I have always been a dreamer, but I’d also like to believe that I’m a do-er too. But pushing boundaries isn’t an easy thing. It is first and foremost all about having the correct mindset and gaining enough courage to get out there and fucking do it. And in order to have that sort of courage, you need the support from the people who matter. Although, sometimes, not having the support could also push you into wanting to prove them wrong. I would say that I’m blessed to have both, and it works for me. I used to think being able to keep your thoughts to yourself makes you a hero. But it takes more guts to have your feelings out there – yet people would see it as being weak. Oprah’s made a fortune from making people talk. And people who watch it watch it because they wish they can talk their problems out too, but they don’t. They don’t because they’re afraid of being judged. But if you were invited by Oprah to talk about it to a gazillion people, suddenly it feels almost glamorous to do so. And so yeah, there is a difference between whining because I want you to feel sorry for me, and whining because I want you to give me some support. If sorry was what I wanted, I would’ve just whined to my neighbour’s cat. I wouldnt’ve needed you for that.
x
